Is your office diffusing pumpkin spice through the air vents? Has your cat requested pumpkin spice kitty litter? What started out 16 years ago as a Starbucks beverage has evolved into the ultimate symbol of fall and a tell-tale sign of someone’s basic-ness. Yes — we, too, enjoy a PSL every once in a while, but after encountering a few unconventional pumpkin spice items, we’ve confirmed that pumpkin spice has gone too far. If you encounter any of these, we advise that you proceed with caution. You’ve been warned, witches.
1. Pumpkin Spice Spam
We don’t care about the aesthetic of your hurricane survival kit — the words pumpkin and Spam should never appear on the same label. Don’t @ us. If for some reason this interests you, it’s available online at Walmart.com.
2. Pumpkin Cleaning Products
Okay, the hand soap is somewhat acceptable. But the dish soap and the multi-surface cleaner … why tho? If we wanted our dishes to smell like food, we wouldn’t bother cleaning them.
3. Pumpkin Febreze
Be careful, this one is located at your local Harris Teeter.
4. Pumpkin Pie Butter Spread
This stuff low-key probably tastes pretty good. But if it’s 50% butter and 50% spread, it is 100% unhealthy for you, and 100% endorsed by Paula Dean. Walk. Away.
5. Greenie’s Pumpkin Spice Dental Treats
Not even little Snowball is immune. SMH.
6. Pumpkin Spice Literature
But … it’s just a scent. It’s just a flavor. How could it evolve into something so sinister? These are the questions that haunt us. We found these titles on Amazon, so have no fear — PSLit hasn’t hit the library shelves just yet.