How Your Zodiac is Handling the Heat
Because we all know a false fall when we feel one, here’s how you’re spending the rest of August, according to your sign.
Aries: You’re a fire sign which means saying “you call this hot?” is practically a factory setting. You’re starting the mower at peak sunshine. You’re grilling because no thermometer will keep you from your passions. You bend the outdoors to your will because the only thing stronger than your stubbornness is the heat stroke trying to get ya. Hot yoga? We have hot yoga at home. Our mat is the driveway.
Taurus: Any excuse for a sweet treat is enough for you. These 100-degree temps are the perfect time for you to try all of the flavors at the Ice Cream Parlor. Nothing says summer like the onset of brain freeze in your desperate attempts to cool down.
Gemini: Dipping in and out of boutiques is really just in your nature. As the “twin” sign, the blast of hot and cold just feels so right. Like the highs of walking out of a store with a new purchase and the lows of later checking your account balance. The duality of your summer persona sounds like a Katy Perry song.
Cancer: Are you trying to win “most fun aunt award” or is your nephew just an excuse for you to also go to the splash pad in a non weird way? Why isn’t there an adult-sized version? Our adult-size tax dollars fund these things. Maybe we want a bucket of water dumped on us every half hour, too.
Leo: Your salesman personality has defrosted enough to hit up any and every acquaintance with a boat and shmooze your way into making waves this summer. The drone of an outboard motor is a honing beacon calling you to Seven Lakes. The stakes are as high as the temps, so you shoot any shot you can.
Virgo: It may be hot but so are you. That’s why you’re convincing the gang to go to Red’s Corner, with preplanned rebuttals to any refusals. They have misters, they have froseccos, they have a food truck for even the pickiest eater of the group. The array of colors from the perfectly mismatched decor makes your Insta pics scream summer. Sweaty? Dewey is in right now. Nothing can stop your rebound from seasonal depression when your inner monologue is full of comebacks.
Libra: Going to the movie theater is your thinly veiled excuse to escape a sweaty social setting under the guise of entertainment. The AC is blasting as hard as the surround sound and you get to put your phone on “do not disturb” for at least 90 minutes. The Sunrise is calling your name.
Scorpio: How are you supposed to “big brain” in these conditions? Looking at local art indoors is the best form of enrichment. You can try it at the Campbell House art galleries. All you have to do is stare at the wall and look mysterious to ascend to cool girl/guy status.
Sagittarius: You are getting the helly outta here. You’re packing the car to go literally anywhere less sticky. Your true crime podcast is ready to go and so are you. Hop on U.S. 1 and let the road take you where it may.
Capricorn: You’re finding refuge at Southern Pines Growler Co. with all things crisp, like a new book and a fresh brewski. A plethora of seating nooks and rogue doggos running around create more joy.
Aquarius: You didn’t pay this much money to buy a house in Moore County to not be at home. You are perfectly content enjoying your mortgage in front of the TV with your dehumidifier, cooling gel packs and an oscillating fan. As the resident bedrotter, at least you’re always up to date on the latest pop culture drama — both local and national.
Pieces: You’re submerging yourself and your thoughts in the nearest pool. Between the screaming children and 9-foot deep end, J. Pleasant Hines Park (formerly Pool Park) is the perfect place for practicing your breathing exercises.
