We Wish Someone Would Gas Us Up
We mean that literally. Because with one gallon costing us more than a bottle of Winking Owl, we’re looking for some alternate transportation.
In case you’re in need of ideas, here’s a place to start:
1. Your office chair: The resident office dog has been emptying treat boxes and sucking up croissant crumbs like a hairy Roomba for years. It’s time to harness the energy of all that carb loading.
2. A magic carpet: Powered by your allergic sneeze, you can now fly high on the soft caress of pollen clouds.
3. Heelys: Oh, you were supposed to be in that meeting? Darn. You didn’t hear the memo over the wind whooshing past your ears.
4. Your Segway: Your stint as a mall cop may have been unsuccessful, but you got to keep the cool ride. Put on the lights and siren and part the sidewalk sea.
5. Scooter boards: With four wheels that rotate 360 degrees and a sleek, low-profile design, the potential of these P.E. relics is honestly wasted on a smooth gym floor.
6. A hand-carved canoe: Your friends all laughed at your pandemic project, but it’s time to get that wooden baby out of the basement and get those oars on the pavement. For less resistance, add Crisco.