You might not look forward to Christmas music or the annual influx of red and green, but don’t be a Scrooge or a cotton-headed ninny muggins — settle in for movies that will scratch that holiday itch with content that’s a little less wholesome. Like you.
1. Mean Girls: Christmas doesn’t fall on Wednesday this year so no need to pull out the pink track suit, but cheese fries are a must. Gather your besties for a little lesson on why you shouldn’t be a bully — spoiler alert, you get hit by a bus — and the best moves to dance along to Jingle Bell Rock. All we want for Christmas is to make fetch happen. Stay out of everyone’s burn book.
2. Die Hard: If romantic comedies aren’t really doin’ it for you, swap them out for explosions, a little gunfire, and a sketchy traverse down an air duct. If you had to save your ex-wife and love of your life on Christmas, you’d rip your shirt off and get the job done too. Welcome to the party, pal.
3. Edward Scissorhands: Lessons on the power of friendship, the beauty behind your quirks and hedge-trimming checks all the boxes of a holiday flick. Add in the festive decor and the scene where Edward’s ice sculpting creates snow, and it makes the cut.
4. Gremlins: You get something small and totally adorbs for Christmas, then you feed it after midnight and it turns into a little monster. This classic tale of responsibility serves a great reminder to take care of your holiday gifts, though we never look forward to the moment when Kate reveals why she hates Christmas. Bright light! Bright light!
5. Step Brothers: This movie proves that even dysfunctional families still depend on each other. At the very least, it’ll enhance your Christmas dinner conversation with fond memories of childhood pranks you pulled on your siblings. Boats N’ Ho Ho Ho’s.
6. Harry Potter: JK Rowling put a Christmas scene in almost every book, a little reminder that being with family or friends is the best kind of magic. So, throw on that ugly sweater your mom knit you a few years back, grab the lot, and spend the holiday weekend binging this series. It’s sort of exciting isn’t it, breaking the rules.
7. Violent Night: Mercenaries. Violence. Blood and Gore. A vigilante Santa played by the cop from Stranger Things. All the things fans of Die Hard can appreciate. This new film, billed as an action comedy, shows that “this Nick is no saint.” Really, that’s from the promo. Let us know how it is.
