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 In HearSway

Have you arrived at the Home of Golf having never played a course that didn’t include a half-sunken pirate ship? Are you too intimidated to step foot on a “real” course? Lady, do we have the class for you.

After Nicole’s new Learn Golf in One Day course at Longleaf Golf & Family Club, the lost cause on our staff is now well on her way to becoming mediocre. Her first-hand account of the day is below.

OK. First Things First.

Nicole did not hit that ball into this rough. That was all my handiwork. But, she thankfully offered to chip it out.

“Let’s see if I can get this out of here,” she said, exuding fake modesty. Of course she could. Of course, I could not. But that’s the great thing about Nicole — not once in the five hours I spent muddling my way through lessons at Longleaf did she make me or the other students feel like we were incapable of anything.

Let’s Back Up.

I know nothing about golf. There’s the equipment (how many clubs does one person need?). There’s the clothing (shirt tucked or untucked?). There’s the language (why is everyone talking about birds?). Do I sound dumb? Good, because I am. So, so dumb. I don’t want to be dumb anymore. So when Nicole Weller’s class promised to get me acclimated in one day, I jumped at the chance.

So, Here’s How it Went.

Without giving too much away, of course.

Your arms and your club should form the letter Y. Learn it. Love it. Live it.

We learned the difference between clubs. The higher the number, the higher the angle = the shorter the distance.

We learned how to walk with our clubs. Why is that important? So they don’t bash you in the shins while you’re walking across the course. So you don’t roll around the green screaming in pain while your friends laugh.

We learned how to drive a golf cart. Turns out, Jackass was not an instructional video.

We learned about the letters Y and L. If that sounds elementary, you should know that we also used the same tools that elementary school kids use to learn how to putt.

We learned how to putt. We learned how to chip. And, how to practice both. Oh, and we had lunch. It was good. And no, there was no eating of actual chips. Told you I was dumb.

See how the Y becomes an L? Real golf, unlike frisbee golf, is not all in the flick of da wrist.

And then, we learned the shot — the one that makes you feel like a real golfer. The one where you swing really hard, and miss. Then break the device Nicole puts by the tee to help correct your swing, to actually hit the tee.

Then, you actually hit it. And it’s more satisfying than watching hydraulic presses smash things on Instagram. More satisfying than seeing someone fold a ball of slime. What I’m trying to say is, it’s nice.

We closed out the day with a few games on The Bottlebrush, Longleaf’s six-hole golf course. Aaand that’s where my ball landed in the rough. But I was honestly proud that I connected with the ball at all.

So, What’s the Takeaway?

Am I now a formidable golf opponent? Absolutely not. Do I know enough about what I’m doing to not embarrass myself? Probably not. Am comfortable playing on a “real” course? Absolutely yes.

Nicole Weller’s next “Learn Golf in a Day” Course is set for August 21. Get information here, and register here.

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