Because sometimes the same old same old gets well … old, here are some ways to not spice things up this Valentine’s Day.
Eat conversation hearts: Look into their eyes and read off the cheesy messages as you eat them. There’s nothing quite like eating lemon-flavored chalk with your boo that screams romance. First one to reach for water loses.
Cook together: This one may sound romantic for your taste, until you spend the rest of the night scrubbing olive oil stains out of your favorite shirt, wondering why you thought it was a good idea to put that much onion in your dish. The only way this night ends is deciding that your dishwasher filter needs a deep clean.
Play Monopoly: Hoping to get some spicy alone time with your beloved? How does three hours of forcing them into bankruptcy sound? At the end, at least you’ll be thankful you’re board game opponents and not business partners.
Change the Wifi Password: Play a fun guessing game with your significant other. They can’t have the wifi back until they guess HFwB7_28772WQ$. We’re sure they’ll love this one.
Name a shark after them: Go to one of those sketchy websites and spend $150 for a piece of paper to name a shark you’ll never see. Don’t have $150 to spend on something that’s probably a scam? Just print out a certificate and say you did it. We won’t tell.
Take them to the grocery store: Going for your weekly haul could be fun, if your weekly haul didn’t consist of goldfish and a fight over what your partner considers to be “luxury” paper towel rolls. At least Harris Teeter and Lowes Foods have wine.